The Power of Small Joys in Tough Times
The Power of Small Joys in Tough Times
In life’s hardest moments, it’s the small joys that quietly carry us. Discover how everyday moments—like sunlight, a warm drink, or a laugh—can help you find emotional balance, resilience, and hope again.
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There are seasons in life when joy feels like a distant memory—moments when everything seems to crumble at once, and the world feels both too loud and too empty at the same time. During these times, people often wait for something big to rescue them: a breakthrough, a grand gesture, a miraculous shift in circumstances. But the longer the wait, the heavier the silence becomes, and the more elusive joy seems. What if, in these hardest of times, it isn’t the grand answers that help us survive—but the smallest ones?
Small joys have a quiet kind of power. They’re rarely flashy or dramatic. You don’t see them in viral videos or big announcements. You feel them in the warm grip of a coffee mug on a cold morning, the way sunlight filters through the window and lands on your skin, the unexpected text from an old friend that makes you smile without meaning to. These moments are tiny, often fleeting, and almost always overlooked. But they are also the very threads that can hold us together when everything else feels frayed.
In the middle of crisis, the idea of focusing on something “small” might seem trivial or even dismissive. After all, how can noticing a flower blooming possibly matter when you’re grieving a deep loss or fighting to stay afloat in life? But this is where the paradox lies. It’s often in the most broken moments that small joys become most meaningful. Not because they fix the pain, but because they remind you that not everything is pain.
Pain has a way of dominating the lens through which we view the world. It shrinks our perspective until all we can see is what’s hurting. But small joys—if we can tune into them—become pinpricks of light, reminding us that beauty still exists outside the frame of our suffering. And that subtle shift in attention can make all the difference between just surviving and beginning to heal.
Think back to a time when you were struggling, really struggling. What got you through? Chances are, it wasn’t just big solutions or a sudden external change. It might have been the way your pet curled up next to you as if they knew. Or the song that played at the exact moment you needed it. Or the feeling of hot water hitting your back in the shower, making you feel human again. These experiences didn’t take away the problem—but they gave you enough of a breath to keep going.
That’s what small joys do. They create space. Space to breathe. Space to feel something other than fear or despair. Space to remember that not all is lost.
Neurologically speaking, our brains are wired to notice threats more than joys. It’s a survival mechanism, honed by evolution. This negativity bias means that even in neutral moments, we’re more likely to dwell on what’s wrong. In difficult times, this bias goes into overdrive. That’s why intentionally looking for small joys isn’t just fluffy advice—it’s a cognitive intervention. It helps rewire your mental focus, even subtly, toward balance.
And balance is essential when things feel chaotic.
You don’t have to fake happiness. You don’t have to pretend things are okay when they’re not. But you can start by saying, “This one moment is okay.” You can sip your tea slowly and feel its warmth, and for ten seconds, allow that to be enough. You can watch a bird hop along a sidewalk and let yourself smile, even if you were crying five minutes ago. These aren’t contradictions. They’re coexistences. Life is complex enough to hold both sorrow and sweetness at the same time.
Many people resist the idea of small joys because they think it minimizes their struggle. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Finding moments of peace or pleasure amid pain doesn’t invalidate your suffering. In fact, it honors it. It says, “Yes, this is hard—but I’m still here. And while I’m here, I’ll reach for what still feels good, even if it’s just a sliver.”
There’s something radical about that kind of softness in hard times.
Let’s be honest—most of the time, no one teaches us how to navigate despair. We’re taught how to set goals, chase success, bounce back. But we’re rarely shown how to sit with grief, how to endure uncertainty, or how to take care of ourselves when life doesn’t make sense. And yet, this is where the quiet wisdom of small joys can teach us something profound. They don’t demand anything from us. They just offer themselves, patiently, waiting for us to notice.
You might find a small joy in the ritual of making your bed in the morning—not because it fixes your problems, but because it gives your hands something to do and your mind something to focus on. You might find it in the way your child’s laugh cuts through your tiredness like light through fog. Or in the exact shade of blue the sky turns before dusk, reminding you that the world keeps turning, even when your inner world feels still.
There’s a beauty in this gentle noticing. In choosing, even once a day, to say: “This moment, I’ll look for what feels good.” You can train your awareness like this—not to ignore the hard things, but to balance them. Over time, these tiny shifts add up. Like pebbles in your pocket, they ground you. Like stepping stones, they carry you forward, one small joy at a time.
This is not about pretending. This is about presence. Being present enough to catch the flicker of comfort when it passes through your day. Sometimes it comes in the form of laughter, sometimes a familiar scent, sometimes a perfectly timed memory. When you start to collect these moments—not in a forced gratitude way, but in a curious, open-hearted way—you realize something powerful: joy was never gone, it was just hidden under the noise.
That realization can be life-changing.
Of course, it takes effort. Some days, the fog is too thick, and nothing feels joyful. That’s okay too. On those days, your only job is to not judge yourself for not seeing the light. Let the practice be what it is: a practice. Not a performance. Not a cure. A gentle intention to make room for goodness, however small.
This is especially important when going through depression or grief. Both experiences flatten your emotional range, making it hard to feel pleasure or connection. But even clinically, research shows that intentionally engaging in activities that once brought pleasure—even if they no longer do—can slowly reignite emotional responsiveness. It’s called “behavioral activation,” and it’s a cornerstone of depression recovery. What that tells us is simple: small joys don’t just feel good—they help heal.
Maybe for you, it’s coloring, gardening, cooking, organizing, journaling, or walking aimlessly through a bookstore. Maybe it’s the smell of eucalyptus, the comfort of worn pajamas, or the first bite of a fresh pastry. The specifics don’t matter. What matters is that you let them in. That you allow yourself to feel good, even if only for five minutes. Even if the rest of the day is still hard.
Over time, these moments stitch together. You might not even notice it happening, but one day you’ll look back and realize you feel lighter. You’ll realize you laughed a little easier, slept a little deeper, or spoke to yourself with a little more kindness. You’ll realize that the small joys you once reached for now live inside you. That they didn’t just help you get through—they helped you grow.
The power of small joys isn’t in their size. It’s in their frequency, their accessibility, their ability to slip into your day unannounced and change nothing—but also everything. They don’t require permission or perfection. They only ask to be noticed.
If you’re reading this and your heart feels heavy, know that you don’t need to fix it all today. You don’t need a five-step plan or a new version of yourself. You just need one moment that feels slightly better than the one before. One moment of stillness, or silliness, or sweetness. Let that be enough.
Because it is enough.
You are allowed to feel broken and still reach for joy. You are allowed to cry in the morning and laugh in the afternoon. You are allowed to hold both the ache and the beauty of being alive. And in doing so, you are building a life not free of hardship, but rich with resilience.
You are not waiting for life to begin again. You are already living it—in sips, in steps, in small, joyful ways.
FAQs with Answers
- What are “small joys”?
They’re simple, everyday moments or experiences—like a comforting cup of tea, a favorite song, or morning sunlight—that can uplift you emotionally without requiring major effort or change. - Why are small joys important in hard times?
They offer relief, perspective, and emotional regulation when life feels overwhelming. They act as gentle anchors to the present and soften the weight of pain or stress. - Can small joys really help with depression or anxiety?
Yes. In cognitive behavioral therapy, focusing on pleasurable activities (behavioral activation) is a clinically proven tool to improve mood and break cycles of negativity. - How do I find small joys when I feel numb?
Start by observing your senses—sight, sound, touch, smell, taste—and notice even the tiniest things that bring a moment of ease or comfort. Don’t force feelings; just notice. - What are some examples of small joys?
A walk in nature, warm water on your skin, your pet curling up beside you, a well-timed song, your favorite scent, a deep breath, or the sound of rain. - Are small joys the same as distractions?
No. Distractions help you avoid pain; small joys help you coexist with it, creating space for balance and emotional relief without numbing. - Why do small joys often go unnoticed?
Because the brain is wired to prioritize threats over pleasures—a survival mechanism called “negativity bias.” Mindfulness helps counter this and increases your ability to notice goodness. - How can I practice noticing small joys?
Pause throughout the day to check in with your body and surroundings. Ask, “What feels good right now, even slightly?” It could be warmth, quiet, texture, or beauty. - What if I feel guilty feeling joy during grief or hardship?
Joy does not dishonor pain. You’re allowed to feel both. Joy can exist alongside sadness—and actually helps you carry grief more gently. - Is this similar to practicing gratitude?
They’re related. Gratitude is often reflective and mental; small joys are sensory and present-moment. Together, they’re powerful tools for emotional resilience. - Can small joys help my nervous system reset?
Yes. Sensory joys—like a calming scent or warm touch—can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress hormones and promoting rest and healing. - Do I need a routine to experience small joys?
No, but creating rituals—like morning tea, evening walks, or journaling—can help you build consistent moments of connection and presence. - Is it okay if small joys don’t “fix” my problems?
Absolutely. They aren’t meant to solve everything. Their role is to support you emotionally so you can stay grounded while navigating difficulty. - How often should I look for small joys?
As often as possible. Even one or two moments a day can have a cumulative impact on your emotional well-being over time. - Can children or older adults benefit from this practice?
Yes. Small joys are ageless. They help kids regulate emotions, reduce stress in adults, and offer meaning and connection to elders.